It's a Tankless Job, but Somebody's Gotta Do It

Tankless water heaters are great. Instead of heating a whole container of water (as much as 40-50 gallons), a tankless water heater heats small amounts of water as it passes through your water pipes. The downside is, they cost a lot more than the traditional tank water heater. So, selling tankless water heaters to the public involves an educational process that falls to the salesperson.

Advertising's job is to catch the eye of the public with an immediate benefit.
We wanted to put signs up in all the stores to draw their attention to the tankless water heaters, and we needed something to catch the consumer's eye.

The advantage of the Tankless Water Heater is the "unlimited" hot water: you are no longer tied to a 40 gallon limit. No more "cold showers" if you are the last one up in a large family.

The advantage of the Tankless Water Heater is that it is an "on-demand" system: it heats the water when you use it. This appeals to the dollar-conscious consumer --  "Why should I pay for something that I'm not at home to use?" 

Again, an appeal to the dollar-conscious consumer --  why repeat unnecessary actions
when a Tankless Water Heater only heats the water when you use it! 

Another more colorful restatement of the benefit of the Tankless Water Heater -- it heats the water when you use it. Putting it into temporal terms of "Tomorrow Morning" and "This Afternoon" drives home the point of the traditional water heater's inefficiency for modern life.

Selling Refrigerators to Eskimos?

A few years back, the Coen Brothers made a movie in which a man was charged with a murder he did not commit. His lawyer came up with a defense based on a scientific theory he had heard once, about how you can tell where an atom is but you can't tell how fast it is moving, or you can tell how fast it's moving, but not pinpoint it's position. I thought, only the Coens would use Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle as a plotpoint in a movie. And the best part about it, the lawyer (played by Tony Shaloub) couldn't remember the scientist's name. So those in the audience who knew of Heisenberg, got it, but they didn't have to toot their own horn about it.

So, I thought Heisenberg's buddy Schrodinger deserved a little love for his thought experiment, popularly known as Schodinger's Cat.

How Do You Make Hardware Sexy?

For the most part, what we sell at a hardware store and lumberyard are commodities.
Screws are screws, 2x4s are 2x4s, and 1-1/2" diameter PVC p-traps are 1-1/2" diameter PVC p-traps.

And, for the most part, the names of the manufacturers of commodity products mean nothing to the consumer.

In our market, the top manufacturer of sheet metal ductwork is Gray Metal Products, so to have a little fun, I wanted to tie in to the craze over the book "50 Shades of Gray" and show how to make commodity hardware sexy.

We got a big bump in our FaceBook views as we rolled this out over several weeks.

FaceBook Photos

On FaceBook, the unusual item is what piques interest. At HEP Sales, your Hometown Hardware store, we wanted to bump up our FaceBook following and reinforce our advantage over the Big box stores: the depth of our product line and the deep knowledge of our counter staff. We found a series of unusual looking items that we would run as a series, "Hit Like if  you know what this is."

The series is turning out to be very successful, raising our following by over 500% (and growing!) and our Talked About status has jumped 300%!

"Check Out My PEX" T-Shirts

T-shirts are a perennial favorite "giveaway" item for hardware stores and lumberyards -- contractors love 'em and the free advertising to have your name on a human billboard is priceless.

One contractor can carry your name all over the county (what we call "reach" in advertising terms) or work at the same job site for several days in a row (what we call "frequency.")

So, when ZURN wanted to do something different to advertise their line of PEX tubing and fittings, I suggested a t-shirt. We had recently had  great success with t-shirts in "safety green" an almost fluorescent yellow-green t-shirt. I suggested we use this for ZURN along with the phrase "Check out my PEX" on the chest, a play on words that I thought would be appealing to plumbers and general contractors everywhere.

To tie this into ZURN, we are giving away the t-shirt FREE to customers spending $250 (or more) in ZURN PEX tubing and fittings. Results have been very gratifying.

A lot of plumbers in New York and Pennsylvania are proud of their PEX!

The Auburn Ladies' Open House

At our Auburn branch, Lydia, our Certified Kitchen Designer, wanted to have an event to highlight our Kitchen & Bath Showroom and let people know about the wonderful resource they have right under their fingertips. We promoted the event in our monthly sales flyer, on radio in the Auburn market, with color signs that were distributed to local markets, and through Social Media, specifically our FaceBook account.

We wanted something consistent, recognizable, and funny that would appeal to our women followers. I put together a series of "ads" that could run the week prior to the event, reminding people of the upcoming event, and keeping the awareness up.

Monday morning's ad

Tuesday morning's ad

Wednesday morning's ad

Thursday morning's ad

Friday morning's ad

Saturday morning's ad

A House of No Historical Value

Once upon a time in a very nice city, there was a very nice street. And, on that street there was small, plain, white house.

The white house had a real estate sign in the front yard.  The white house knew that every time the sign appeared, the family that lived there would move out. 

The white house loved young children.  She enjoyed having them play in the front yard.

The white house did not have an Italian garden, or miniature fruit trees, or a swimming pool like other houses on the very nice street. 

But the white house did have a large expanse of lawn in the back that was perfect for kickball in the summer …  and Fox-and-Geese in the winter.

The white house sat plainly on her lot, looking window-to-window with the house next door, a Victorian Painted Lady.

The Painted Lady’s color scheme was pink and purple and aqua that its owners always referred to by numbers.  Like most Victorians, she was very tall, with tall windows, a very tall turret, and a Cupola that looked like a crown at the very top.  The Painted Lady sat very smugly on her lot and did not talk to the plain, white house.

“What an eyesore,” the Painted Lady said. The white house thought she was referring to the real estate sign.  “A house like that does not belong on our street.”

“I quite agree,” came the confirmation from the other side of the little white house.

On the other side of the plain, white house was The Splendid Colonial.  He was Nantucket Blue, and was always painted every fourth year.  (He had just gotten his quadrennial coat last month.)

His lawns were watered every afternoon. The Splendid Colonial’s owners liked to walk around the yard and pull up little bits of crabgrass and little stray maple saplings that had found their way into their flower beds.  

Once they even found a Black Walnut sapling. That puzzled the Splendid Colonial’s owners greatly as there were no Black Walnut trees on their street.  (The white house knew that an absent-minded squirrel had buried the nut last fall and had forgotten about it by the spring.)

Most days, the white house felt inferior to her grand neighbors.  But on sunny days, she opened her windows and let the breeze ruffle the curtains, and then she felt better.  

This day was a bright Sunday afternoon, so she tried not to fret about it.  A group of people were walking along the sidewalk from house to house on the very nice street.

They stopped in front of the Splendid Colonial.  “This is a splendid Colonial,” said the guide of the walking tour. Everyone oohed and aahed.  

When they were done taking pictures and making notes in their tour programs, the tour guide said, as he shepherded them past, “And this is a house of no historical value.”  Some people stopped and looked, and one took a picture anyway.  Then they noticed they had become Stragglers and they hurried to catch up to the tour.

The white house slept in the afternoon sunlight. It was a warm day and the house liked to remember all of the happy families that had lived there over the years.

A car stopped in front of the white house and a man, his wife, and his two small children climbed out of the car. “This is it,” the man announced, and he waved his hand at the plain, white house.  The children climbed up the front steps and sat down and looked out towards the street.  

The man hugged his wife.  “This is the house I grew up in.”

“Should we buy this house, kids?” the man called to the children on the front porch.  “Oh, yes,” they said, and they ran off to explore the back yard.

“Then this will be our home,” the man said.  He pulled the real estate sign from the ground.

The plain, white house smiled.  “I now know what I am,” she said to herself, proudly.  “I may be a House of No Historical Value, but I am a Home.

© 2009, Jonathan Cowles